During the last few months I’ve been carefully mulling over ‘my angle.’ Some throw around qualifiers like being detail-oriented or working well with others. Others are driven by cutting-edge work — you know, to offset those who prefer mundanity. No matter what words are placed in front of employers like a chocolate on a pillow, it shares a common ancestor: it’s played out. Oh so played out.
That’s why I want to break away with an ability no one has considered exploiting before: Severe ineptitude.
But Rob, you’re saying, employers see that all the time with applicants. Yes, true. But they weren’t self-aware. You can’t wield a power you don’t fully understand. It’s sort of like the X-Men. You need a bald man in a wheelchair to come and show you the ropes. I’m not sure how Professor Xavier relates to me in this case, but look, you’re already seeing poetry in motion.
I decided to be proactive in appearing terribly unqualified with The Employerzone, a site channeling an 11-year-old Robert Lombardi who loves Pokemon cards and despises deodorant. After all, weren’t times simpler then? Aren’t we all misty-eyed over Geocities and the golden age of Web design? I’m banking on this nostalgia for someone to see it and shout “Hire this man! His artful use of MC Hammer .gifs is the stuff of genius!”
This whole thing could be a failed experiment. But you know what they say — Compuserve wasn’t made in a day.
It was made in two.
Check out The Employerzone (4800 baud connection required)
Hold on to your forks, folks... There's pie!
Hahahhahah oh man.
Amanda sayeth these words on
Friday, March 12 at
8:11 pm
dude, my sides hurt. i like how goosebump24@compuserve.com goes to your email.
jim sayeth these words on
Saturday, March 13 at
8:27 pm
Bringing the funny once again. Kudos.
tom d sayeth these words on
Saturday, March 13 at
9:23 pm
LET GO OF MY EGGO. LET GO OF IT.
yoohoo sayeth these words on
Monday, March 15 at
1:35 am
YES.
mar sayeth these words on
Friday, March 19 at
12:22 am
what the heck did i just look at???
Lani T sayeth these words on
Saturday, March 20 at
12:14 am
