Originally written and published for ETHOS magazine, “Welcome to the Steamhouse” is a story about my trek to Marrakech, Morocco, in the spring of 2007. What started off as an innocent everyman journey into a foreign land transpired just like you think it would: disturbingly awkward and underwear-less. Since its publication I’ve cleaned up the text and made some clarifications. You can now read it in its entirety below.
“Sleeping, sleeping…” softly cooed a middle-aged and mustachioed Arab man into my ear, deep inside a labyrinth of tile along the outskirts of Marrakech, Morocco. I was far away from home and painfully, unapologetically white.
It was the sort of thing they warn you about in the study abroad pre-departure material, illustrated with clunky stick figures that narrowly avoid being raped or murdered. My gut feeling and masterful grasp of D.A.R.E. principles determined I was en route toward one of those outcomes, the latter seeming like a welcome respite. If you can believe it, though, I didn’t thrust myself into what became one of the most awkward, surreal experiences of my young adult life. You could say I just invited it in for a cup of tea. And a back rub.
Summer has begun, which means it’s time to blare music obnoxiously loud outdoors and force your impeccable taste onto others.
I’ve gathered some of the (mostly) latest and greatest stuff, granting you the ability to say “Yeah, I’ve heard that. Like awhile ago…” with remarkable pretension. Although you may resort back to bumping Bone Thugz in your seafoam Topaz like an unemployed parolee, you can at least say I tried. Take a look at some of the tracks that are part of the full tracklist:
Daniel is the first single from indie-darling Bat for Lashes’ second album Two Suns. Like most of her work their is a haunting and ethereal quality to it, reminiscent of Bjork but with the added bonus of not sounding like a dying animal. The video for Daniel has something for everyone: A hot girl dressed as a Flashdance extra, performers in body suits with balloons glued to their heads and, of course, a copious amount of lens flares.
When I first laid eyes upon the 1984 motivational video classic by a one Mr. Laurence Tureaud, I must say, I was confounded with joy. I couldn’t believe everything I thought was awesome about the 80’s was put together into one epic 50-minute video. Cheese-dripping feel-good synth pop? Check. Horrible, horrible fashions and dancing? Yep. A young Bobby Brown singing about peer pressure? Oh hell yes. And then to throw Mr. T in there … well, my mind nearly shattered at the thought. But it’s real. So, so real.
Not only does “Cop Killer” Ice T share writing credits for the music (many are unaware Ice T is Mr. T’s brother twice-removed), but many of the songs have Mr. T lending his golden pipes along with his chains. And believe me, they’re golden.
Let’s take a gander at the bounty of riches Mr. T’s video has to offer:
The moustache is more than just a frivolty that adorns a man’s (or very handsome woman’s) face. No, it is a lifestyle.
And as such there are unique attributes that can be gained and lost from growing your fledgling follicles into a full-out, testorone-dripping manstache. For your introductory look into the world of the moustache, I’ve kindly listed the myriad of skills acquired for saying “Hey, I just don’t give a shit anymore. Let’s do this.”
Without further adieu, the ’staches:
The Colonel Cletus T. Burnsides
Skills acquired:
+12 Improper hygiene
+7 Fish market employability
+3 Muzzleloader expertise
+1 Salt-curing talents
After the exhaustion that was getting a website created and put together, it’s been nice to stretch my legs with some fun photo experiment stuff. My friend Dan McClanahan, photographer and some legends say part dragon, was kind enough to let me weatherize his work. (Click for enbiggification)
Also, be sure to check out Dan’s site for more photo goodness.
Yes, the pairing you’ve always dreamt of has now finally come to fruition (yeah, that was a plant pun — eat it). Plants vs. Zombies is the latest from PopCap, creators of Peggle and all sorts of additive-because-you-hate-real-world-obligations Flash games. It took little to sell me on the game given the zamboni zombies, an image I’ve drawn in crayon and adorned my room with a countless number of times until my dormmate told me it was creepy and he was moving out. To play, you use your plant powers to dismember the undead before they reach your house. Once you start playing you’ll no doubt become a zombie yourself, sans brainlust. Or maybe that too.
Next up for PopCap: Kitchen Appliances vs. Ninjas.
Download Plants vs. Zombies (.zip, 26 megs)
Passion Pit is a bunch of dudes out of Massachusetts that are likely to be the MGMT or Cut Copy of 2009. They’re a band you’ll enjoy uniquely calling your own until you’re forced to scorn them when your friends start making annoying Facebook statuses with their lyrics and bringing it up in conversation when you just want to eat your goddamn sandwich. If you’re into that sort of thing, start listening to them now so you can hate them by September. They’ve already entered the orbit of the blogosphere and are now wandering its flaky crust, becoming the most searched band on the Hype Machine and in a smattering of pinky-raising articles over at Pitchfork.
Unlike MGMT, however, their album “Manners” is much more cohesive while still maintaining that “electro-weird with a smidge of synth pop” sound that will undoubtedly become the new 80’s music in the next twenty years. And I, for one, am all for it.
♫ Passion Pit – Moth Wings
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♫ Passion Pit – Eyes As Candles
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Download Passion Pit’s “Manners” (.zip, 64 megs)
Hey. This is where I’m going to post stuff about stuff. And stuff.
I hope to catalog the interesting things I discover on a day-to-day basis as well as write irreverent nonsense about things I love and loathe. You know, like a blog. As to if anyone will read it, well, probably not. So I guess this is a lot like talking to myself in Internet form.
Hey, you. Be sure to do your laundry. Okay, sounds good.
With that, here’s a picture to personally reflect on:
